Search results for: ""Shiv'a""

First Shiv'a Meal: Prepared by Others
The mourners do not eat their own food for the first meal after the burial, so other people bring prepared food to the shiv'a house.
First Shiv'a Meal: Bread and Egg
The first meal should be bread and a hard-boiled egg. After that meal, any foods may be eaten, including meat and wine.
When Shiv'a Ends: Onen
An onen ends shiv'a (and shloshim) with the household head ("gadol ha'bayit"--whoever controls the money in that household)—even if the household head begins shiv'a before burial and the onen joins the shiv'a house after burial.
When Shiv'a (and Shloshim) Starts: Jewish Festivals
For someone who dies during Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, or any of the three Jewish festivals, the mourning period does not start until after the holiday has ended.
 
When Shiv'a (and Shloshim) Starts: Normal Days
Shiv'a (and shloshim) starts for a mourner who:
  • Attends funeral:  After the burial.
  • Will not attend funeral and is a(n):
    • Non-Onen:  Immediately upon hearing news of the death.
    • Onen:  As soon as the onen has nothing (more) to do with the funeral.
Note Family members may observe shiv'a at different starting and ending times. 
Laundry during Shiv'a
A mourner may not do laundry nor wear clean clothes for comfort during shiv'a, but if all of the clothes are dirty, they may be washed. If so,
  • Someone else should briefly wear such clothes before the mourner wears them, or
  • The clothes may be thrown on the floor so that they will be considered dirty.
 
Greeting during Shiv'a
A mourner may not greet someone in return but may acknowledge a greeting to him/her and may say “thank you” back. (This restriction ceases if a Jewish festival occurs during shiv'a.)
 
Gifts during Shiv'a
A mourner may not give gifts for seven days.
It is not appropriate to give gifts to a mourner for one year if the mourner is mourning for a parent.
Driving during Shiv'a
A mourner who absolutely must go somewhere may drive himself or herself (or be driven by someone else), but the proper observance of shiv'a is to stay home for the week.
 
Clothing during Shiv'a
Mourners may not wear leather shoes for the seven days of shiv'a.
 
Business during Shiv'a
An avel may not work and may not own an operating business during shiv'a.  If a death is imminent, consult a rabbi immediately to arrange a sale of the business.
Bathing during Shiv'a
An avel should not bathe for pleasure and should only wash hands (to elbows), face (to collarbone), and feet (to the knees). If the avel is sweaty, smelly, or dirty, he or she may wash other body parts as needed.
Reason for Shiv'a House Minyan
The main reason for a shiv'a house minyan is to allow the male mourners to pray with a minyan and say kaddish, since they may not leave the house.
Duration of Shiv'a (and Shloshim)
Shiv'a lasts seven days. Shloshim lasts 30 days, beginning with Day 1 of shiv'a. There may be some exceptions if shiv'a occurs before or during festivals.   
Note Any part of the first day is considered to be one full day. On the final day after shacharit, the mourners finish shiv'a, so shiv'a can actually last as little as 5 ½ calendar days.
Mourner Period When Shiv'a or Shloshim Are Shortened
Someone who is mourning for parents is still a mourner for the entire year even if shiv'a and shloshim are truncated.